08.07.03
3:45 p.m.
A morning spent at DES trying to see if i can obtain cash assistance. I love being a government case.
But until i can get my hands healed up, i can't go to work...and i gotta do something!
The Doctor's appt. went well. Much nicer doctor then the last one. He actually took time to have a
conversation with me!!! I'm getting new meds, and get to go see a dermatologist next week sometime.
Beauracracy...a day of it. There were some things i didn't quite understand, so i had
to chat with my health plan, call the Dr's office back, and now it's all figured out. WhooHoo!
Maybe i'll have healed up hands at some point.
So, here's a question...has any one out there actually seen fresh garbonzo beans? I'm a chef,
and there's nothing like taking whole food and breaking it down to yummy goodness. Heck, we
don't even have a microwave in the kitchen yet. (Radiated food, yeah right!) They have their
place...but...i'm rambling.
I went grocery shopping at Food City today, where i can get the best chili's and limes, and black
beans. And they had Fresh garbonzo beans in the shucks. I got me some of those. I am a hummus
lover. And a few weeks ago, Master and i found Green Hummus. I didn't know what Green hummus
was. It didn't tast like there were chili's in it. (that's what would make it green right?).
Well, now i know. After shucking the beans, i took a look; the garbonzos are green with a little white in them.
For those who are culinarily challenged, a garbonzo bean is also a chickpea. Usually you find them
dried. They have that off-yellow color. You soak them and cook them and put them in salads or
soups, or make hummus...
Tonight, we will have green Hummus...yummy!
Here's is a random thought:
What do you do with all those plastic bags you acquire at the grocery store when your neighborhood
doesn't have a decent recycling plan (or your city)?
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08.06.03
See how easily i can get dissappointed? By not accomplishing all the tasks at hand. But
isn't that how To Do lists work? I dunno. (check yesterday's entry on the To Do list).
Still a little fuzzy from what was going on in my head. Master is stressed...i still can't go
look for a job; but i have a dr's. appt on Thurs to get my hands taken care of. They are very, very
bad right now.
So moved some of the "To Do" list over to today...Need to clean the kitchen...but, that's hard
with how my hands are.
I don't have anything very profound to write today. M.Blair gave me a nice compliment on Her
journal yesterday...*blushing boy*. I just do what i am compelled to do, and what i have
thought about for a long time...which is write daily, and create a rocking website.
Still need to get some more photos scanned in, to add to the site. This is what i call a "brick
by brick" process...The main stuff is up and running, and the goodies will come with time.
I've added a new page today, check it out under "other stuff in my head." It came from the
website i never debuted, and after thinking about it, will only move stuff from there to here.
Here is something i wanted to share with everyone...
Why i live in Arizona:
"Monsoon Blasts Valley". From the Arizona Republic, July 30, 2003.
I was at the Phoenix Mercury B-ball game when the storm came through. We came out of the
Arena, and it was pouring. Downtown Phoenix was all rain and wet, and glorious. I love to dance
in the summer rain. If any of you have EVER lived in the desert, then you know how precious
the water from the sky is. It was beautiful. The lightening lit up the sky underneath the
clouds, licking and playing, and making huge thunderclaps. One person i was with didn't want
to come out in the storm...can't say i blame her, but i was out there, yelling very loudly about
how fucking beautiful it was!
This is the second summer Master and i are sharing. And this is the 2nd time we missed the
opening storm of Monsoon Season together. I got home as fast as i could, but by then it was
dying down. There's nothing like sharing this kind of violence in Nature with the one who
causes controlled violence on my person.
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08/04/03
3ish p.m.
i've been thinking about writing this for awhile. We'll see if it meets the required specifications.
What i can do to be a better slave boy...
How to structure my day:
- Wake up enough to function and get Master's breakfast.
- Wake up enough to write down the Daily To Do list.
- Drive Master to work.
- eat breakfast!
- Work out, at least get some stationary cycling in
- Come home, start on To Do list immediately. No putzing around on puter, or tweaking websites, or checking email until To Do list is accomplished in a timely fashion.
- Check email, get the work done i need to to promote book, or to help Master.
- eat lunch.
- nap if i need to.
- Make sure dinner preparations are ready.
- Be available for Master in the evening, in whatever capacity She chooses.
This is very simple. But to me, accomplishing a Daily To Do list smacks of a rigorous daily structure. One that i am resistant to. Since resistance is futile, and i want to become a better slave boy, it would seem that i would want to do those things that please Master. I know that these are the things that would Please Her.
I am not naturally a morning person. I am not naturally able to get awake and focus at 6 a.m. However, since this is the prime time for Master and i to communicate, it would behoove me to gain the ability to be awake at this time of the Morning. It would please Her.
The goal is focus. The goal is to be better at what i am doing. The goal is to be the best of the best. And i feel that i fail miserably in the department of slavery most of the time. But i am told i don't have to be perfect, progress is noted, and appreciated.
I excel at being a boy!
How to find the Happy Medium...we'll see how well i can follow through on this plan. It's what i want to do, but i am fighting natural tendancies, and sometimes, yes, sometimes, a lack of willingness to be able to function for Her. I can get pretty selfish sometimes. And boy ego-centric.
I didn't become Her slave because i have natural submissiveness in me. I wasn't any one's slave, or submissive at the time. I am also collared to someone else, but that is not a slave's collar, it is a service contract, and she lives many, many miles away.
I became Master's slave because She smelled the potential in me. I offered my chains to her. She earned the trust and respect of this humble boy. I felt i could serve Her in this capacity.
We took it from there. If at any time, i feel that i can no longer serve Her in this capacity, i may report this to Her, and we will work out some other arrangement.
For now, i want to keep trying, and i want to make progress...that's all anybody can ask, right?
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08.04.03
9ish a.m.
Things to do today:
Check Master's Links in Her re-designed website.
More pages there then on mine...(i realize
now that my website is not nearly as complicated as it could be).Cook beans (beans are cooking now)Call my health plan to see if i can get a dermatoligist to look at the eczemaCall Legal Aid about help with my upcoming unemployment appeal- Get the house cleaned/organized for a possible guest this week
- clean out trash in the car
go through grocery store flyers and write down sale prices
When i first started to design a website, i thought i would create strictly a slave's log.
A daily accounting of how i spent my day. When i smoked, how many, how much coffee i drank,
what tasks i did when. I quickly realized how bored i would get with such a detailed project.
And how quickly i could get dissappointed in myself for not accomplishing those things i need to on a
daily basis.
From there, i decided to create this website...(blogger issues and such). And on this journal
i can post anything i want. So, i will periodically post The Daily To Do List. And,
if i have the patience, go back through and strike out those accomplished tasks. This is just
another way for Master to be able to check on my progress. And have a place to keep the To Do list.
I also have tasks to accomplish weekly. And after yesterday's wind down party for the SW Regional
Leather Sir/boy contest, i have a list of practical things to do to get my book out there
on the market, and make money...they say poets don't make money at their art. I'm a poet
who believes i can!
So with all that said, i do need to get back to checking Master's website. It is a task
that will involve much of my time this morning. I'm also proof-reading, looking for typos and
such...every writer needs a proof-reader.
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08.01.03
4:30 p.m.
OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!
Well, it's a new month, and i've spent all day fixing files, so that you can still access the month of July.
It wouldn't be so hard if i understood the heirarchy better...i'll leave that for the HTML DAZE page.
Yesterday i didn't get a whole lot done, so i wasn't allowed to do some things, like read other
people's journals. I was a good boy! I didn't, though temptation was there. I spent my time otherwise.
I got these things done...
- Folded laundry
- fixed archivey things
- got gas, and quarters
- got water
- Fed Master
Haven't done the dishes, hands are really really sore. Tonight is the meet-n-greet for SW Regional Leather Sir/boy
contest. The link is on the BDSM Resources page. I'm getting all excited! (boy panting).
That's all for now...need to go get Master from work, and upload all the new files.
Happy August!
7:00 p.m.
YAY, now it's August, and i can post thoughts here...i am a determined boy. Master says i am
obsessed...we'll let you, dear reader, decide which it is!
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