Finally, it was time to go the bedroom. One of the changes I have made is to wait by the bed for Her to come into the room. Before, I had been just asking if I could climb into bed, before She did. I was standing, and She approached me with the nipple clamps. After putting those on, She pushed me down to the floor. Then shoved me over the bed. The verbal barrage started. She likes to form expression into statements, and I have to find a way to answer  Her. Then She told me to get on the bed. I was on all fours, ass and cunt exposed to Her, vulnerable and ready. But this wasn’t about the pain. She didn’t grab a cane, or the wooden spoon to torture me with. I heard Her putting on gloves. She threw a condom and the trusty butt vibrator at me. (one I’ve had for years and will have to replace soon). I condomized, and then She took my sex.

Hands manipulated both my cunt and ass. She called me Her slut boi/grrl. Asked me which one I was, the answer was that I was just Her slut, for Her to use. She started drilling into my ass with that buzzy little vibrator, and doing things to my cunt that hadn’t happened before. With words like “Whose slut are you?” and “Look at that, your just one big hole aren’t you?”

I always wondered how I would react to this kind of language. I had an adverse reaction to people before when they said things like this to me. Yet in my fantasies, this is the way I am treated, nothing but a sex object, to be used and fucked and thrown in a corner. Degraded and spent.

I checked for a reaction. I had gone deep. She owned me completely. My body, my sex. I do not have permission to come until She tells me, and because I didn’t know if I would be allowed to or not, I had hit the hold button, and was just given over to the sensations She caused in me. She pushed Her thigh into me, saying things like “Wait til I get my strap-on, you’d like me to fuck you like that.” Of course the answer is Yes. Fantasies of rape danced in my head. I was gone, I was and object for Her use, Her pleasure, Her desire.

Then came the words “Show me whose cunt you are, come.”

And because I had hit the hold button, I had to transfer in a split second the message to Her cunt to orgasm. And I came. Not a hard one, just one of those shuddery, shakey orgasms that involve both cunt and ass that were being assaulted. I gave Her what She demanded, no thought of my own pleasure, just the thought of obeying Master.

After, She came close to my ear, and said to me that this feeling isn’t what I am supposed to remember about how She owns me. I am supposed to remember the feeling I had when She first chained me to Her bed the other night. The way I felt when the lock clicked in place. It isn’t the mastery She holds over just my physical being, but all of it, my head, my heart, my life. Orgasms are just a part of the bigger picture.

I had to go clean up. When I came back, She had me climb back on the bed. She was sitting now, and had me present the cunt and ass again. This time, She took the dick I am allowed to penetrate Her with, and started manipulating the cunt again. Then She entered me. And used that dick to take me to a different height. She played with the clit and words fell out of Her mouth, words like “You’re just one big cunt aren’t you?” “Look at that cunt. That’s all you are isn’t it.” and I was beyond control. I was abandoned to pleasure, and desire and lust. All I cared about was Her pleasure, giving Her what She wanted of me.

I still have some level of discomfort in penetration (lack of use over the years), but we managed to find a comfortable position. And She drove that dick into me. I responded like the erotic slave I was trained to be. Grinding, working my cunt for Her amusement. She told me to hump it. I was to do the work as She held the dick in place. At some point I went from being on all fours, to leaning into Her body. She told me to take over, to use the dick on myself. Told me to show Her what Her cunt could do. I held no other thoughts. My past, my present, my future were going. I was in just the moment, the precision of Pleasing Master, consumed by the passion of Her Ownership of me. Obeying Her word, Her whim. And the pressure built. As I fucked Her cock, I felt it rising. I couldn’t hold on very long.

“Master please, please let your cunt come for You.”

And in one word, I heard the passion and lust and desire that Owning me caused in Her. In one word Her voice, sexy and sultry, gave me permission.

“Yes.”

And it happened. It’s happened before in little ways. And once in a while, when I masturbated, I tried to make it happen. This time I wasn’t looking for it, but it came.

The fountain, the ejaculation. My hips arched, my back drove into Her body, and the orgasm was a release that I had pursued for too many years, and given up on. She said it was Hot. The way my body proved to Her that She owns me.

I lay, afterward, quivering, shaking, incapable of anything but post-lust drain. It felt like every ounce of fluid had left me. What desire was left was to curl up in Her arms and sleep. She sat there holding me. Telling me what a good slave I was, what a good cunt.

We cleaned up, She chained me to the bed again, and I slept, safe, secure in the knowledge that She will protect me and take care of me.

Since this post is two days from the event, Master and I have had time to talk about it. Time for me to express what I wrote above. What comes up for me is why now. Why was I able to complete the one elusive goal in my life? Was it really because I was just fucking the wrong people, no. It goes beyond that, into how much I trust Her. How I was able to let go of every shred of every day concerns, and turn into one thing, Her cunt. No intrusions of daily crap, no balancing the check book in my head, no thoughts of how other lovers did other things that didn’t cause this reaction in me.

I have freed up space inside of me to belong to Her. I have worked very, very hard to be one thing, Her vessel. I am for Her pleasure, Her use, Her amusement. And that is what I gave to Her the other night.

And its not about the sex, or the pain, or showing me off. It is Ownership and property. Master and Slave. My desire to serve Her. Her ability to inspire new heights in me by one simple act.

Chaining me to Her bed. Binding me to Her. Claiming that Ownership in a complete sense.

This slave doesn’t need fetters to know s/he is a slave. But I like the chains. And I serve.

back to the top