11.26.03
12 p.m.
We as human beings have a great capacity to overcome many obstacles. For over a year now i have had one huge obstacle. A computer that my parents bought me that six months after purchase started giving me problems.
Said computer went into the shop several times. We purchased it from Best Buy. By the time i moved in with Master, said computer wasn't even working. The last time i plugged it in i got nothing.I've been dragging my ass about taking it back to Best Buy. I had a warrenty on it that was good for three years. I was three months away from the warrenty running out. Time to take the system in and get it taken care of.
There are all sorts of reasons that i hadn't taken it in. Starting with my mother's death last year...coupled with the icky hands, the sprained foot, etc, etc, etc. The burden of this non-working system has been a huge part of my stress over the last year. You pay good money for something, you want it to work.
So houseboi and i went to Best Buy yesterday and turned the damn thing in. I got what is called a no limit exchange. With in two weeks i will have a brand new tower that has all the bells and whistles, and some i don't need but get any way.
I need a system that can process video. This new system has a DVD/CD-ROM burner. It will burn DVD's that you can play in your home theatre system. I've got the latest Sound Blaster card, the Audigy II; 1 gig of memory, count that, ONE GIG! A 160 gig hard drive. And a 7 in 1 Arc Soft Card reader. 5 usb ports, 2 fire wire ports (for when i get my digital camera). It will come with Windows XP Pro. Considering i am still using Windows 98 and i had a brief experience with Windows ME, it will be a whole new experience learning XP Pro. And it comes with a couple other things that i'm forgetting. So i am getting a much, much better system, for the same amount that i paid for the icky system three years ago.
YAY for the Boy!
And here's my point. If i had done this a year ago, i wouldn't be getting the computer that i am getting now. Everything happens for a reason, in the time it is supposed to happen. I got tired of looking at a broken computer, and had houseboi to help me. He was cute on the way over to Best Buy he kept saying, "They are going to give you a new one." And they did.
And Master had been nudging me, and my friends, to take care of this problem. And now it is taken care of. A huge burden has been lifted from me. All this stress that was running in the background is gone. I feel so relieved today, so very calm. There is the other part of me that is excited and doing the Happy Dance! And wants the system NOWNOWNOW!!!!! I have several programs to load in and play with, and so much graphic work to do, and so much video to process.
I plan to take the early work, the Mud People performances, with all of the problems, and burn them to DVD for preservation. I'll be able to work on the books, faster and better. And start working with the spoken word stuff...I have a headset/microphone combo that i can't wait to plug in and use for the Spoken Word, and then it will be time to get a hold of Music guy again, and make some noise!
Can you tell i am excited!
So it is Turkey day tomorrow. Last year at this time i was planning making dinner for my dad and brothers, and hanging out with family. It was the first holiday without my mom. This is the second year without her, and i'm not talking to family right now. It started weighing on me last night. I was trying to go to sleep and the brain wouldn't shut off, and i sat right up in bed, and made some noise. Master woke up and took care of me. I told Her that i got scared. I got scared for no apparent reason. There was all this stuff in my head, and then fear. I didn't analyze it. She went and made me tea, and curled around me for awhile. I did a relaxation technique, and between that and the tea, i got to sleep ok.
Houseboi and i went to Home Depot today to get the supplies to get more bookshelves up in the office. That is almost finished!!!!!! So now i have more shelving. Problem: We need book ends. But it looks really good.
Having a houseboi has been good for me and for Master. Although my frustration levels are high because i can't really do much myself. I am supervising. I want to do stuff with her, but i can't, and it is wigging me out. I can't even cook much right now...So i'm trying to keep the frustration levels at a minimum. I think i'm succeeding. Master tells me i am doing really well during this frustrating time. I'm not screaming and yelling and throwing things. I think that is the reason behind getting the computer taken care of. It was something i could acheive that didn't involve much physical activity.
I see the Dr. on the 4th of Dec for the foot/ankle to find out how damaged it is. It's not hurting as bad as it was the last few days. I broke down and got vicodan from the dr. because when it was raining, i slipped and landed on the injured foot in the wrong way.
I'm hoping that by the 1st of the year i'll be all healed up and back in service. This has been a very frustrating year for me. In retrospect, it's been good that i haven't been working and that i could spend all this time working on myself, and Master, and developing a solid base for our relationship. Self-reflection is always a good thing, when good things come out of it.
And i am ready to get back into the swing of life, if only my physical health will start cooperating. I want to continue serving Master in the capacities i was before all the physical issues started. I'm gaining more confidence every day, and feel more balanced then i have in a long, long time.
And one last note: We'll be attending the Southwestern Leather Conference in two weeks. I was supposed to be performing for the opening evening, but with the hurt ankle, that's not an option.
And that's all from this boy for today!
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