The guests stayed over, and I made breakfast for everyone. We had pancakes. We all sat at the dinner table, and talked and came down a bit from the night before. It really set off my week!

Monday was the 25th. That night Master brought the chain harness back to me. The one I had surrendered to Her. She gave them to me, and said they were mine again until I decided to surrender again. Many emotions raged through my mind as I kneeled in front of Her, for about 30 seconds. I was afraid, distraught, concerned. Was I not serving Her well enough? And then I realized, this is still about choice. The choice of serving someone in the capacity of slave. And yes it has been difficult, and yes, I haven't been the best slave, or the perfect slave, but I have been HER slave. And though I make mistakes, I have not made major errors, or been outright defiant to the point of punishment. I follow the few simple guidelines that She gave me, and continue to serve to the best of my ability.

Within that 30 seconds, I handed back the chains with the statement that I choose to continue to serve Her, and surrender to Her authority. She accepted the surrender, again, and we continued with our evening. Which entailed getting ready for bed.

And it is a much deeper surrender this time. Much more of a conscientious choice. One based in shared life experiences, and three years of service. Not out of a desire to be collared to the one I wanted to serve with a fear of possible rejection. I know more now, and I still have a desire to kneel in front of Her, and be accepted as Her slave. Powerful, and humbling at the same time.

Now, about the new job!

The manager feels better about my abilities, and I think recognizes what I've been having to work with. I try to do the stuff I'm supposed to do, but everytime I turn around, the other guy has been doing it. I haven't really been "tested" yet. I had one day to work by myself, and I did well, so the fear of my ability to perform has been eliminated.

This job has caused a drastic shift in our living patterns. I have to be to work by 5 a.m. I prefer to be there at 4:45 a.m. This means a bedtime of before 8 p.m. if possible. The beauty is that I am out of work by 1:15 or 1:30 p.m. (for now). By the time I get home it is almost 3 p.m. but that still gives me time to nap if I need to so that I can stay awake a bit longer in the evenings.

Master was working a temp job that got her home at 6 p.m., of course She doesn't want to go to bed at 8 p.m. so it has given us little time to be together. The temp job ended Friday, and She has nothing new lined up. So next week will be a little different, until She gets another job. (many prayers our way please for Master finding fulltime employment!)

I didn't want to get a job as a breakfast cook, because I knew I would be on this kind of schedule. However, this job isn't about being just a cook. I'm The Chef. I make decisions, I have some level of authority, I make the food, and serve it at lunch time. It's a beautiful thing. And then I realized the other day...because it is a corporate kitchen there is no alcohol on the premises. And there are no children. Ok, this has got to be my first job in the food industry, ever, where I don't have to deal with kids. Not that I don't like them, it's just different. I'm feeding mainly guys, and working guys at that, who just want to get their food, and sit down for a spell and eat. I like that. Alot. So, as the job progresses, I'll keep updating.

It was still very hard to leave the country club, and the Chef I worked for, very hard. . I got Chef a card. and when I gave it to him, there was a moment. It passed, but it still affected both of us. Then, had my exit interview, and heard the words "eligible for rehire". What a lovely thing, to hear that, and to hear that some people were sad to see me go. I cried a bit on the way home, but managed to get through it. Change is good, change for the better, change that will stabilize finances, and help me grow as a Chef and as Master's slave.

After the interview some other things happened that made me think I wouldn't change jobs. I survived the cut at work, and was given the thirty hours a week I was promised. Chef had plans for me for the next month. This from a man who usually can't give me details of what we are doing next until it is right in front of us.

The new job has no nights, weekends, or holidays. I get paid holidays! The company offers partnership health benefits (I could put Master on my health bene's). I started talking to some friends; they seemed to think that I was probably crazy for passing this kind of opportunity up. I was being considered for the position of working chef, in a facility that needs to be turned around. I turned in the application, and then called, like I was supposed to. I was told that they would be making a decision sometime around the 14th of July. Yesterday (Monday) at 7 a.m. Master hands me the telephone and told me it was the potential employer. Wow! Two days early.

They offered me the position.

Ok, I took it. I'd be flat out crazy not to. There was some concern about my hesitation, and I explained that the hesitation was about leaving the safety, security, and comfort of my current job. It wasn't about not being able to do the job. Again we spent about an hour talking. I filled out more paperwork and went off to pee in a cup.

I knew I had to tell Chef. He is off on Mondays, so I just fiddled around transferring tapes, and trying not to think about how it would be disappointing him by leaving. He has taught me so much. He gave me an opportunity to work with him, and learn and grow as a cook, and that looked good enough on paper to take the challenge as a Working Chef in a corporate structure.

When we finally talked, and I put in my two-week notice, Chef went ahead and said to take off now. It makes it harder because I won't be working in that kitchen again. A place I like, with people I like (most of them). I would like some kind of closure, but it is ending this way. We are slow enough that I knew it wouldn't hurt Chef if I left. I just didn't want to hurt his feelings.

The conversation went well, and I'll see him on Thursday when I go in to pick up my check stub and go through the exit interview. I am going to draft a thank you letter to him, because I do consider him a valuable resource, and a Mentor. By no means am I leaving there due to bad feelings, or a bad experience. It is about moving on to a new experience, and taking care of my career. I hope to keep the door open so that in the future, if I need to, I would have a place to go again for a job.

This is new for me; changing jobs not because it got rough, or I walked, or that I couldn't stand the place, but because I am moving up in my career.

Master flat out ordered me to take the new job. I wanted to justify not taking the job for a variety of reasons. I could not find one sound reason for not taking the job. Everything I thought of was counteracted by the trade-off in the new job. Ok, MY OWN KITCHEN! Sure it is inside a corporate structure, and I'll have to follow rules and policies. But that also means support and training. I get to set the tone and the pace of the immediate environment. And if someone isn't following basic health code rules, I can say something about it, and do something about it. Instead of having to walk away and shake my head. There are so many great things about this change. And I feel so scared and vulnerable inside. What if I fail? What if they don't like me? What if...what if...

And that voice can just shut up! I am a confident, capable, experienced chef who can handle the stress of kitchens, and the challenges of bringing a house back up to standard. There is upward movement in the corporate structure, not just lateral movement. And the possibility of making more $$ once I become established within that structure.

My experience with corporations hasn't been very good. Every time I decided to start moving up, something got in my way and kept me from getting there. I am going to do everything within my power to not let that happen this time.

So send lots of light and warm fuzzy thoughts, and check out my wish list on Amazon.com, send me a present to congratulate me. Or just donate some $ to the website so I can keep it going while Master looks for a job.

That is the flip side to this. Master is still unemployed. She is going through a rough time. I ask what I can do to help, and there isn't anything, She says, that I can do to help; beyond staying stable and making it through this transition. I'm going to have a week where I won't get any kind of paycheck. That's going to be rough. We need lots of warm fuzzy thoughts to Her to be able to find a job that pays well, and that She likes.

Now that I am through the decision process I can start adding my own energy to Her to help Her get through this. My hope is that we don't start fighting and tearing at each other because of finances. We haven't yet. And any arguments that have tried to start have been aborted. That's a good thing. I got snippy today, but came back and apologized for it. I was only trying to state what I needed, and asking what I could do to help.

I am trusting the Universe, I am trusting the Universe, I am trusting the Universe!

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