06.02.05
11:20 p.m.
Up late again. Doing stuff. Master is getting used to Her fresh juices. I took a trip to Food City tonight around 9:00 p.m. to procure more produce to juice, and to buy veggies for dinners. When i came home, i had to put all the groceries away, and wash some dishes. Master wanted sugar...the fruit juices provide natural sugar that the body digests easily. So I had to juice a pinapple. I had juiced strawberries and mangos earlier. We had yummy smoothies with all the juice and frozen banana. I also juiced a honeydew...yummy!!! I like melon juice.
Spent time in the kitchen tonight, which is why i am up so late. I want to get up an hour earlier tomorrow morning so i can do my writing and then get some apples juiced. I'm really liking the fresh apple juice.
Pretty much the food in our kitchen is 95-97 percent fresh. I use minimal pre-packaged and canned goods. Food like olives and pickles still come from a can, and Master's diced tomatos that she likes in Her comfort food. Other than that, the seitan and tofu, it's all fresh. I'm sure this really freaked out Tex. His pantry was full of pre-packed mixes, spices, and canned goods. And his cooking consisted mostly of microwave usage. Except when he made chili from his chili kits.
Tex...I promised to write about the moving. He was throwing useful items away in the garbage out back. Master and i would diligently go retrieve the items. It's not that we want more junk in our lives, the things he was throwing out can be reused. Most of the trash he threw out was recycleable. Frustrating. I wasn't about to go digging through the garbage to pull out the recycling, although I had a moment where I thought I might do that.
The urge and desire to help were also strong. He only asked for help once, and that was to move some of his really big stuff out of his room and into the garage. He was supposed to have ALL of his stuff out of the garage by today. He came over and got one load in a friend's truck. Neither Master nor I were home by the time he left. He came back later, after we were home, but did not come inside. He only took one more small load by himself. I heard something fall in the garage, but I fought the urge to run out there to make sure he was ok. I am remaining detached. It's hard because we worked at the same place, and people there knew we were housemates.
And there are still piles of his stuff in the garage. Master is working on a painting project, and I really want to start parking the car in the garage again, and we can't do either of these things until his stuff is gone. Yet another cause of frustration. I also have another project i am ready to start on that requires room in the garage. All I can do is let this stuff go and hope the Universe guides him gently on his journey.
People can be frustrating. The trip to X-mart last night seems to have shaken me a bit. At work today I hit my anti-people stage. I didn't want to be around them, I didn't want to be around whatever was going on. There was some kind of loud disagreement between two people, and I just hunkered down and continued my job. I got a ride home since Master was still in Her workshop. So I had a little bit of time to myself-like half an hour, still, it was better than no time alone.
I was able to resolve the anti-people stage by the time I had to go to food city. I pretty much kept to myself at work and did my job. I interacted with Chef a little bit, but the lead line guy seemed to not want to be around me at all. And I can't really figure this one out. I need to ask him tomorrow if I did something to offend him. It's grating me a bit, and contributing to the anti people condition.
It is a good thing that Master isn't people. I can be around Her while I'm like this, and it's ok. That's because for months She kept telling me She wasn't people. I finally believed Her somewhere along the way, and let it be ok to be near Her even when I didn't want to be around anybody!
Why did the trip to X-mart set this off? I was writing earlier today that it is about the human condition. The people that shop at X-mart do so because of low prices, the income they have demands that they shop somewhere with reduced prices. When I see them, and look at them, I see misery and pain behind their eyes, I feel the energy of depression and unhappiness. I went in with shields up, but I was still affected, not by the energy, but by the condition these people are in. I want to scream and shout that there are other ways, you don't have to be so miserable and lonely, and ignorant. I feel like that is a judgement call, and who am I to judge other people, being as different as I am? Knowing these same people look at me and make judgements and assumptions based solely on what I look like to them.
And that spirals me into a stage where I just don't want to go out and see people or be around them. And I am glad Tex didn't come into the house this afternoon when he picked up more of his stuff...because he is people.
Hopefully I'll be out of this in the next day or two, and back into my jovial, happy, people are ok self.
Talked to my cooking student finally. We are hoping to get together next week. Our conversation put me in a much better mood. It was weighing on me that I hadn't talked to her since our last lesson...when the housemate tried to engage me in an argument. It was a relief to get rid of that stress.
I must not allow so much stress in my life. Stress bad, happy good. As we continue this new diet, and eat healthier, and gain more momentum in our artistic endeavors, hopefully the stress will reduce as well.
That's one of the goals anyway...Happy Friday!
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