11.19.05
3:45 p.m.

What I'm doing to amuse myself.

I should be washing dishes. I have to go over to Master's sister's house in about an hour to take care of her. Come back home, feed my charges, and then try for another night's sleep.

I stayed away from care-taking as a profession for a reason. I enjoy feeding people, but daily bodily care, and cleaning up after them can be challenging. I remind myself that I am in the service of a Wonderful Master, who values me, and cares for me in a very deep way.

I want to thank all my friends for all the encouragement. Putting up with phone calls, and my whining. All of them came from the perspective of the M/s dynamic, my "opportunity to serve" as Master's slave. I value this input, I really do. Between all of this I've been able to have boy time. While the two of them rest, sleep and heal, I've been able to cyberscape to places I didn't know existed.

Check these blogs out. I'm going to write for permission for permanent links. I only try to link those people I think really have something to say. There are a few more blogs I'm still looking for. As soon as I have said permission, I'll go ahead and add them to that section "Other links of interest."

In the meantime, read some fun stuff...

Wil Wheaton; Check him out, not only ex-Star Trek NG, but also total geekhead, found his site through Margeret Cho's blog, which has some cool stuff. Both these guys are activists and advocates of rights and freedom of the press. Wil has a new book out, and Margeret has new stuff out. I put it on my wish list.
Then, for your amusement, Kevin Smith, the creator of Jay and Silent Bob, speaks out. Then there's the new movie AeonFlux, coming out soon...please check out this site. It's not fully functional yet, but it has some cool interactive comics.

All these through yahoo.com...gotta love this cyber life sometimes. What little time I can spare there.

Spending time on the internet is a distraction from worry at this point. Worry about Master healing, Her mom's physical problems, Her sister's health, our state of finances, staying on top of all the work, and my recovery; being able to find local support (getting closer), and generally not pulling a freak-out.

I didn't try to grab a train, plane or car back to Arizona. I didn't run away, faced with these challenges. A friend reminded me to go back and read some of the stuff I've been through. It's been so much stuff. And this too, I can move through.

People have asked what they can do to help, short of moving here. Well, there is a paypal button on this site. You could send us financial support. You can check out my poetry site, and buy some books, that would help. Or, if anyone has a slave available to come help us, that would be a bonus as well. These are real ways to help us.

I am grateful for all the emotional and mental support that has been coming our way. I feel bolstered, and able to get through my day. And I was able to feed Mamasita some food that she actually enjoyed. She wanted more mashed potatos last night. I only made enough for the three of us to have on our plates I'm not a fan of left-overs. They tend to turn into science experiments in the refrigerator.

So that's the current news of slave boy. It's been good having Master home. At least I can touch Her, and feel Her, and care for Her in the way She needs cared for.

And just for the record: Hospital food in Kansas SUCKS!!!

And just because I'm bored:

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11.15.05
9:15 p.m.

I've sent many emails out between yesterday and today, but for the general population, here's the news:

Last night, on the way to go help Her sister, Master misstepped off the front porch and fell. The result was a twisted, dislocated, and badly fractured ankle. She was admitted to the hospital last night after they relocated the ankle and put on a splint. They had to resplint the ankle after taking a second set of x-rays and consulting with the Othorpedic Surgeon. Coincidentally, it was the same surgeon that operated on Her mom a week and a half ago.

Master had emergency surgery this morning around 11 a.m. I hadn't yet gone to the hospital. I was gathering things and waiting til it was closer to the time that someone would be here to watch Mom. This was Master's orders, to make sure someone was here at the house. Mom was not to be left alone. Mom's friend was due to arrive at 11 a.m.

The hospital called me at 9:45 a.m. and said they could do the surgery and was sending Master to pre-op. I had been told that the surgery wasn't going to be until 3:00 or 6:00 p.m. So I was rather surprised, got my things together and hauled it down to the hospital. I was pulling a double freak-out because today was the first day we had snowfall. I have never driven in snow, and have not encountered icy roads for about 15 years.

I made it to the hospital just fine, Master made it through surgery just fine, the Dr. talked to me and Her dad, and told us what he did.

There is a plate with seven screws in the outside bone of the ankle. The lateral ligaments that circle the ankle are torn and damaged. She has a half cast on Her leg, and is not allowed to put any weight on it for at least six to eight weeks.

I have communicated with my support base. I have been talking to people and letting them know I need at least emotional support right now. I have emailed my little heart out. I have talked more on the telephone last night and today then I had in the last year. And I am working on staying sane in what feels like a very chaotic Universe right now.

I think I'm holding it together pretty well for a boy who is out of his element, out of his physical support network, and is feeling overwhelmed with what needs to be done next.

Her dad has been more then supportive, and if her mom were mobile she'd be at the hospital as well.

I am not alone in this. I do not feel alone, I feel supported, loved, buffered and held up by many friends and family. I have been told that 1) I can DO this! that 2) I am a very good boy, and 3) that I am a very strong individual, even when I am "at my worst." (a quote from a friend).

Tonight is restful and quiet. I left the hospital around 8 p.m. Master's dad was there, and I needed to be here to take care of Mom. I've had some dinner, and watched a bit more of "Lord of the Rings:The Return of the king." I'm watching it a little bit at a time because my concentration levels are off a bit. I was able to watch most of the movie the other day, but missed some very key scenes. I know it will make me cry again, even though I know the story backwards, forwards and sideways.

The kitties are kind of freaking out. My alpha girl Xena wants to know where I put Master. Tigger is just sleeping alot. Gabrielle just wants to be petted, but is nervous because I am nervous. I have to feed the iguana tomorrow and take care of him.

And tonight I need to sleep, alot, because tomorrow will be very, very busy.

I am just asking for many prayers of healing and better luck. A swift recovery for both of my in-home patients, and loads of extra energy for myself.

The next few weeks are going to be a challenge. I hope I can meet that challenge with grace and dignity. Put aside selfishness, and carry out the service to the best of my ability. It is all I can ask of myself. As another friend said, I need to allow myself to be "human."

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