08.13.09
6:00 p.m.

I didn't want to make this journal about my work life. When I was reformatting the website, I realized that over the last few years, it did become about work.

I've started thinking in terms of work as Service. Right now our only income is my paycheck. That's a lot of pressure for a slave boy. I don't make the money we need to support all of our bills. I work, I show up, I do my job, while I'm at work I am in Service to Master. I am on the best behavior possible, and try to maintain a positive attitude (sometimes not easy in the culinary world).

There are facts: I love the company I work for, but am getting to the point ethically that I can no longer support the industrialized food business. The chef I work for is overworked and not giving me the best of his attentions. I work all over the property, and my schedule is not set anymore. I'm getting tired of getting bounced around. I don't get paid enough for what I am doing.

I am looking for new work. I've had one interview for Kitchen Manager at a Raw and organic cafe. And I have another interview set up for Monday with a Chef who is opening a new restaurant (I love opening restaurants!) I feel really good about this upcoming interview.

The problem: I can't take a pay cut. Any place I go to has to be above what I'm making now. As the sole wage earner in the Household, this is vitally important. Benefits are important too, however, not required. I can ride cobra for a little while.

Master has approved this plan. She knows that the work I'm doing isn't exercising my culinary muscles. I'm slinging burgers and dogs for a living, I need to be creating, adding, working for people who actually care about the food they are producing. Being a chef is a huge part of my spirituality. What I'm cooking right now isn't feeding that side of me. I don't really believe in the vision the Chef has. It hurts, but it's true. At least at my last property, we learned while we earned, and the Chefs challenged us, and we challenged each other. I miss that. And that's what I'm hoping for in this change, a place to exercise my culinary muscles, and be a bit creative, and work with people who care about what and how they feed people.

08.03.09
10:00 a.m.

July was a really busy month. I worked loads of hours and tried to keep up with some of the House. Master has been very good and been doing laundry, dishes, bathrooms, that sort of thing so that I can bring in the $$ that pays the rent.

I am searching for a new job. I can't keep doing this one. I thought this job would be really different. Instead I'm working three different outlets, two of them without supervision. My "Supervisor" title got taken away. So at this point in my culinary career, I feel that I need to be a Sous, a Chef de Cuisine, or a Kitchen Manager. I'm working on a possibility right now, and I keep putting out resumes. Something will turn up.

The M/s relationship has been rocky, but Master and I just passed 7 years together. Seven years in Service to one person. This is the longest I've ever been with someone. Let alone wear their collar. I'm proud of myself, but also a little scared that it has been that long. Master wants to mark the service with tattoos, but at this point we aren't able to afford the tattoos. Hopefully in the near future.

Service of Seven Years: what does that mean? I've been trying to reflect on it while working all those hours. I've wanted to come sit at the computer and write about it, but haven't been able to summon the brain power. Today I can write a little bit.And I can't seem to find a way to be articulate about Seven years of Service. It is huge for me...a big frikkin deal, and I wish I could find better words for it.

I only hope we can make another Seven.

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