11.09.09
8:00 p.m.

I was in the process of making green chili mashed potatos for a banquet. I had put the pan of green chili into a top steamer, instead of a bottom steamer. When the Chef said to go ahead and pull it out, I grabbed it. I did not have a correct grasp on the pan. He stood behind me telling me how to correct the problem instead of stepping over to help me.

The man could see that I was in trouble. I've handled plenty of hot things in my life. What I needed was help, not a lesson!

The hot steaming chili came sliding down onto my chest, and also the Collar. When I was sure he had a hold of the pan, I ripped my jacket off. I went downstairs to change, thought I was going to be alright, looked at the burn, and figured otherwise.

I called Master, and let Her know that I was on my way home, and that She needed to drive me to the ER. I also stated that the Collar would have to come off. Usually She crochets something onto my ankle or wrist for these kinds of incidents (when I had a mammagram or other x-rays). She had one ready when I walked through the door. She finished it off on my wrist, and then removed the Collar. It was not easy driving 15 minutes on a highway keeping a lock off the scalded part of my skin. Somehow I managed to make it safely home.

The ER trip yeiled time off from work. I'll be off until at least this coming Friday. I am under a doctor's daily care to make sure there is no infection.

The burn covers just below my neck to just above the breast line. It is painful, oozing, and makes it hard to move any part of my upper body. And I'm pissed. Never in my career have I had a chef stand there like a door, and try to tell me how to correct the steaming hot liquid. Usually they just help me.

Yes, that was reported. Yes, there were things I could have done differently. And, no, I have no desire to walk back into an environment where I was allowed to be seriously injured.

Thankfully I have an interview on Wednesday. This might be the one. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but not really holding my breath. Every time I think I've got the right job lined up, it doesn't come through, so I'm just putting it out there...and keeping my fingers crossed.

The burn is healing well. The doctor I saw today was impressed. I've been keeping it clean and changing bandages frequently, and Master is helping me take care of it. She is concerned, and not too happy that I became this seriously injured.

So lots of healing thoughts, please..and no there are not any pictures of the injury, don't even ask!

11.01.09
10:45 p.m.

I was reminded today why I cook, why I work in the food industry, and what is important about this career. I watched a documentary called How to cook your life, it featured Edward Espe Brown, a Buddhist Monk Master and Chef. He is the author of The Tassajara Bread Book, Tassajara Cooking, The Tassajara Recipe Book, and Tomato Blessings and Radish Teachings. (Tassajara is the Zen Center where he works and teaches). The way he talks about food, and cooking in a Zen Center reminds me of my connection with Food and my Spirituality. I cook for people because I want them to be healthy and happy through the food I provide. Yes, I do it in a large scale setting, but I do it for love and passion, not money. Money would be nice, it would be helpful to pay my bills and be out of debt.

Because of that particular motivation, I lost sight of the more important value, spirit.

I decided I deserved to be promoted and I deserved to make more money, because of my time in the company, and what I perceived I had done for them. They perceived differently. I was rejected and told their perception of my performance. I was hurt and angry. Now, they are shuffling me into a position I don't really want, and I have to find some good, some quality, and some understanding of why the Universe has put me there. I've decided that the lesson is humility, and getting back to the basics of my understanding of why I provide food for people.

It is not an easy lesson; especially when co-workers ask why I am working the Salad Station on the buffet. I shrug, I say I don't know, but I know I need to do this job with gratefulness, and mindfulness, and not with resentment and anger, because even if I am just filling up a bowl of lettuce on a buffet line, if I do it with negative connotations, that will translate to the food I am handling.

Brown pointed out the three tenants of Tenzo cooking; The joyful mind, the kind mind, and the grateful mind. I must utilize this on a daily basis. And maintain an attitude of gratefulness that I even have a job. And while doing that continue to look for a work environment that supports and upholds a similar philosphy to mine.

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